I’ve been getting messages lately asking things like, “Are you embarrassed by your body in front of your husband?” or “Is your husband still attracted to you after having kids?”
On the surface, these questions might feel offensive. But what I hear underneath them is something deeper: worry. Fear that maybe, after our bodies change and endure the profound journey of pregnancy and postpartum, our worth as partners somehow diminishes.
A while ago, my husband took a photo of his hands holding my postpartum belly. But he didn’t stop there—he wrote down his honest, heartfelt thoughts about my postpartum body.
Here’s what he said:
“I figured it’d be easy to write something, but then I started thinking—what is there to even write about?
Sure, things look and feel slightly different—but in the grand scheme of things, nothing has changed.
The reasons I fell in love with her had nothing to do with the body parts affected by pregnancy or postpartum.
She still has the same beautiful smile, the same determined mind, the same banging body, and the same strong work ethic as the girl I fell in love with over 15 years ago.
She still has the same sense of humor. She still smells amazing and tastes amazing too.
Her postpartum body does look and feel slightly different, but why should that matter to me at all?
The soft, pillowy skin around her belly button held my three best friends for 18 months.
The marks on her skin tell the story of strength—the strength it took to carry two beautiful girls who will grow up being raised by this incredible mom.
Nothing has changed or altered my love for my wife.
I get called a ‘great husband,’ but honestly—that’s nonsense. I’m literally doing the bare minimum by loving my wife for who she is, ‘imperfections’ and all.
Imperfections make life interesting. If everything was Barbie-doll perfect, wouldn’t we all get bored? How else do we show the battles life has thrown at us?
So whether it’s regrettable tattoos, scars, surgeries, facial hair, or a postpartum tummy—who cares?
Be good to each other. Learn from mistakes—yours and others’. Help those in need. Stop obsessing over who looks like what.
My wife isn’t perfect—and that’s exactly why I love her. That’s why you’re reading this.
If she were perfect, none of you would relate.
Women feel like men—and even other women—care more about the exterior than the battles that created these so-called ‘imperfections.’ And they’re often right. In a world filled with porn and magazine covers, boys grow up with unrealistic expectations. Girls feel pressured to look like a Kardashian, while boys just want to be Ninja Turtles or Power Rangers. It’s a vicious cycle that will only change when parents teach the value of a human being as a whole, instead of ranking everyone on a ‘hot or not’ scale. Until then, we have generations of heartbreak ahead.
It’s really not complicated. Just don’t be a jerk.
And to husbands out there who aren’t doing their fair share—diapers, cooking, cleaning, telling your wife she’s beautiful—step up. You’re a team.
I was supposed to write about a belly, but honestly, it barely affects me, so I rambled about everything else.”
Reading his words, I cried—tears of gratitude, love, and relief. But I wasn’t surprised. He has never made me feel less of a woman. I feel his pride every time he touches me, the sparks when we’re together—it’s fire. And the fact that I carried his children? That only makes me more desirable in his eyes.
This is so important: we have to separate ourselves, our bodies, and our children from the toxic narratives society keeps pushing. We are worthy of love. We are worthy of intimacy. We are worthy—always—of the same respect and desire we had before kids.
And that is the truth I hope every woman reading this can feel in her bones: you haven’t lost your worth. You are as loved, as wanted, as radiant as you’ve always been.
