Dear Baby I Never Met,
I never got to see your face, but I have imagined it countless times. I’ve pictured your tiny features, your little nose, your delicate lips—and every time, my heart swells with love.
I never got to wrap you in a blanket and hold you close. I never breathed in your scent or felt the softness of your skin against mine. I never felt your tiny fingers curl around mine, but I’ve closed my eyes and imagined the warmth of your touch, the gentle press of your hand against my heart.
I never experienced the quiet, intimate bond of breastfeeding you. I never got to witness your first smile, hear your first laugh, or even hear your first cry. I will never get to soothe you when you’re scared, comfort you when you’re hurt, or calm your tears in the middle of the night.
Yet, even with all these losses, my love for you remains unshaken. I am still your mother, and my heart still aches with longing for you. Even though you only lived within me for a few short months, I carried you. You were safe under my heart, held within the very core of my being. I knew you. You are my child, and I loved you from the moment I saw those two pink lines appear on the test.
I loved you with a deep, fierce love. I nurtured you in every way I could, cared for you with all my strength, and held you in my heart even as you rested quietly within me. And when I began to lose you, when your tiny body left mine far too soon, a piece of me left with you.
Even though you are now in a better place, cradled in the arms of Jesus, even though He gets to witness your first smile, your first laugh, your first words, a part of my heart will always remain with you. The day you left my body, my soul shifted forever, forever carrying the imprint of your presence.
I carry you with me in everything I do. I feel you in quiet moments, in the spaces between breaths, in every heartbeat that reminds me of what I have lost yet still hold. And I hope, as you watch over us from heaven, that you feel the love we still have for you. I hope you know that you would have fit perfectly into our family, that you belong with us, and that your memory is cherished every single day.
We will never stop loving you. You are my child. You are always in my heart.
Love always,
Your Mama
